The older I get I am starting to learn not to get so caught up in my families drama. I use to get to get so sad whenever my sisters would get in to fight with each other, or when one of them would get into a fight with our mom. I use to feel so sad when i would get into a fight with them and just want it to hurry up and end so that we can go back to being a family.
But now, after having my son, i’m starting to understand that no matter what we will always be a family. At times we are going to fight, sometimes the fights will be really bad but i just have to have faith that we will come back together. Maybe it wont be as soon as I want but one day.
Don’t get me wrong, it still makes me sad but for my own sanity i see that i need to take a step back from being the fixer, the peacemaker and the healer.
These are grown ups who will d what they want to do when they want t do it. I still listen and offer my advice, i may try to fix things over once. If it works great if not I have to let it go.
I have my own little family now. My focus needs to be on being the fixer,the peacemaker and the healer for my beautiful baby boy.I cant let myself get stressed out and sad from my family because how i feel affects him.
I love my family so much and I am so grateful to have them in my life and i wish that we could live in a magical land where we always get along and always want to be around each other…but we don’t and that is all there is to it.
Until the moment when I first laid eyes on my son.
I get it now
Oh how I hate you! I really really really hate you. I dont see the point in you. I dont want to know you, I dont want to see you. I dont want to use you! You annoy me.
I dont want any part of it…..so why did my new boss decide to make me the new soical media person in our office :/
Is life nothing but an everlasting struggle to find yourself?
There are many moments when I look around me and wonder if this is world is actually hell, then I see my son smile and nothing else even matters. He is my own little piece of heaven and that is more than enough for me.
It amazes me sometimes how quickly I can turn off my emotions and not care anymore….right now is one of those times
I think that’s the problem that I have been having. ..not giving my all but expecting things to change. Time to put on my big girl pants and really put in the effort to try and make this work.
Now a days it seems like the only point of these social networking sites is to show off and put up appearances. I really don’t care that you just checked in at Starbucks, or that you and your friends got so drunk at the club last night.
My friends always ask me when will I get back on Facebook…ummm never. There like you’re on Tumblr why cant you get on Facebook? But see Tumblr is different. Me and Tumblr speak the same language. People on Tumblr are not posting for show, they are posting for self expression…they are posting about real life. The good, bad, sad, weird and ugly.